Thingamajigs
by Lahdolphin
Summary: A collection of shorts all 500 words or less. Characters and ratings vary.
1. Punk

**Punk  
**Niou/Marui  
rated T

Marui holds his school bag over his head and dashes towards the nearest door, wondering why he is even bothering because he's already wetter than a fish. He stomps his rain-soaked shoes on the welcome mat, hoping he hasn't just busted into a church group or a funeral home or something equally awful. Thankfully, it's just an empty coffee shop. The only person is the guy behind the counter.

Marui chokes on his words. "Oh, God, is that you?"

The guy chuckles deeply. "I think that is rather unlikely."

The guy has black hair underneath an oversized, stylish beanie. He has his sleeves rolled up and Marui can see black ink running up his lanky arms, twisting up under his shirt and disappearing. He's wearing chunky bracelets that look like they're from another country.

There's so many bits of metal and plastic in his ears that Marui can't count them all—some are gauged, some twist, one looks like a dragon and is curled around his cartilage. He's got a silver labret piercing, a black ring through his nose, and a stud through his right eyebrow. Marui feels his throat go dry as he thinks about where else this guy could have piercings. The possibilities make him hot under his clothes. What did they say about people with tongue rings?

He's taller than the last time Marui saw him and he started dying his hair a normal color, but the mole is the same and he still has that mischievous glimmer in his blue eyes. Marui wonders is he is mistaken because no way in his wildest dreams could he look so damn hot.

"Niou?"

"You gonna order something or just drip until the place floods?"

Ah, the smirk.

Definitely Niou.


	2. Piercings

**Piercings  
**Niou/Marui  
rated M

Marui has a thing for piercings. He'd call it a kink, but he doesn't like the word. It makes his small obsession with bits of metal and plastic and wood sound dirty, which it most definitely isn't.

Niou has six piercings on his left ear—a hollow gauge in his lobe, an industrial bar (technically two, Marui thinks as he tongues at it), a knob at his daith, a ring at his tragus, and a cool plastic loop on his outer conch. Niou tilts his head to enable Marui's oral explorations.

His right ear has four—two studs in the lobe, a ring on his outer conch, and a dragon that curves around his ear from his cartilage. Marui traces the length of the dragon with his tongue, the metallic tang lingering when lips leave metal. Niou makes a small noise when Marui's tongue runs along the spots where metal mets skin. Marui sucks at the junction and Niou's noise grows in volume.

Marui moves his tongue from his right ear to the stud in his eyebrow, kissing gently, then moves down to his nose where he pecks his lips against the ring on his left nostril, and then lower still to pull Niou's bottom lip and his labret piercing into his mouth. The metal is cool and clinks against his teeth when he tugs it too close. Niou groans deeply in his throat.

Marui forgoes the labret and tilts his head to kiss Niou full on the lips and gain access to the ball piercing in his tongue. The ball is warmer than the others from its place in Niou's mouth and there is no strong metallic taste, but Niou rolls the ball against Marui's tongue and along his lips to make up for it. Marui moans at the sensation.

Niou's nipples have metal stubs running through them. Marui tugs at the right stud with his teeth, pulling his skin taught then releasing it and dipping down to suck harshly at skin and metal in tandem. Niou makes a small noise at that so Marui repeats the motion with a grin.

Lower still, Niou has his hips pierced. Marui presses his thumbs into the dip by Niou's hip bones and laps at the top stud on the left, then the one below it before switching to the right. Niou lifts his hips towards Marui's mouth.

Marui fingers at the waist of Niou's briefs, kisses the two right studs briefly in parting, and returns to the nipple piercings.

"I thought you said you wanted to see all of them," Niou says as Marui circles his nipple with the tip of his tongue. Marui gazes up at him with longing. "I've got one more."

"Where?"

Niou smirks and pushes Marui's hand towards his briefs. Marui smiles.

It isn't dirty. It really, really isn't.


	3. Burgers

**Burgers**  
Hyotei  
rated T

When Shishido mentions something about burgers—Atobe assumes that he means hamburgers and not some type of obscure sexual disease—the entirety of the regulars decides that everyone must be hungry after practice and therefore, they should get burgers together. Atobe does not like this logic very much, but he goes along with it "for the hell of it," as Mukahi often says.

The place smells like grease and Atobe decides he will have to throw away his shoes after this because the floor is filthy. They stand in front of a counter and between Mukahi, Shishido, and Akutagawa shouting orders at the poor cashier, who looks absolutely terrified, they manage to order their food—if it could be called food.

"What is this?" Atobe says. He is fairly certain that he is sitting in gum of all things and Akutagawa is getting ketchup everywhere. "This cannot be edible."

"You've never had fast food?" Akutagawa says.

"No, and I never will again if this establishment serves as any type of standard," Atobe says.

This, apparently, was the wrong thing to say.

Shishido has him eat french fries dipped in a vanilla milkshake and then Mukahi has him eat chicken nuggets dipped in a chocolate milkshake—Atobe does not understand why dipping deep fried food into a melted, poor excuse for a milkshake makes it taste any better.

Akutagawa and Hiyoshi convince him to try fries and chicken nuggets without the milkshake, and although Atobe thinks his skin will slip off from all the grease, the taste is not as horrible as he had imagined. That's not to say that it was good.

Oshitari prepares his burger for him, rearranging their toppings to give Atobe the "best assortment" for his first bite. The burger tastes nothing like the hamburgers his chefs prepare for him at home, but like the nuggets and fries, it is not horrible.

"Let's go to that place by the candy store next time," Akutagawa says.

"Kirihara says there's a good place where he lives," Hiyoshi says.

"Gakuto and I know this family run diner which has the best onion rings," Oshitari says.

"If I break out because of this, you will all be running laps until your legs fall off," Atobe says, then takes another bite of his burger because, yes, is is quite good.


	4. Tampon

**Tampon**  
Fudomine  
rated T

An knows that there is nothing wrong or embarrassing about getting her period. It's been happening for a few years now and she's kind of used to it. But when she drops her tampon in front of the team, she sees it in slow motion.

She's in her room later that evening when someone knocks on the door. "Can I come in?" Kippei asks. "You're, um, decent?"

"Yeah, I'm good," she says.

Kippei opens the door and behind him in the hall is Kamio, Ibu, Ishida, Sakurai, Mori, and Uchimura. They come in with several bags and scatter throughout her room, tossing the bags onto her bed and talking about movies and video games.

"We brought about ten different zombie movies, so take your pick," Kamio says as he flops into a beanbag.

"When did we decide on zombie movies?" Ibu mutters under his breath. "I thought we were still debating between pirates, zombies, and ninjas then we're suddenly decided on zombies? I still think she would have like a pirate movie more..."

The boys begin to talk amongst themselves as An begins to go through the bags. She finds several bags of barbecue chips, a pint of chocolate ice-cream, two bottles of grape soda, mozzarella sticks from that place she likes, and a bar of chocolate.

"Um, guys?" she says.

"What? You want to watch Head-shot IV?" Kamio asks.

"We're watching Corpse Burning VI!" Kippei says.

"Come on, let's settle for Zombie Bomb II and follow up with Brain Squasher X," Mori says.

"No!" the others shout in unison.

She does not bother to interrupt their conversation again. She leans back against her heating pad and her pillow nest, opening up a bag of chips and smiling. She loves her boys.


	5. Ring

**Ring  
**Kirihara/Hiyoshi  
rated T

Hiyoshi sits on the counter of their crappy apartment as he watches Kirihara, arm deep in the sink, curse and wiggle in a desperate attempt to fish out the ring. After all these years, Hiyoshi doesn't know why he was expecting anything else.

Their first kiss—now that had been a disaster. Why Kirihara thought it was a good idea to kiss him during Finals their last year of high school in front of all of those people and cameras (and their old captains, _ohgod_) is beyond Hiyoshi. He still has no idea how he got out of there without Yukimura or Sanada cornering him with a knife.

Then again, this is Kirihara, the guy who thought losing their virginities in the back of a car was the best damn idea in the entire world. That had ended with a trip to the police station. Now Hiyoshi has a record for public indecency all because Kirihara had to kick the door open.

Really, in the grand scheme of things, Kirihara with his fist down a drain and no pants is not all that weird. The pants—well, that's another story that isn't all that surprising either.

"I swear, I almost got it," Kirihara says. "This is totally part of my plan."

"Of course it is," Hiyoshi says.

Kirihara withdraws his arm with a triumphant ah-ha as he holds up a wishbone. "Wait. Shit. That's not right. Let me try again."

Hiyoshi gets off the counter and grabs Kirihara's wrist before he can shove it back down their sink. With their luck, Kirihara would hit the disposal, then where would they be? Another anniversary spent in the hospital is where they would be.

"Here," Hiyoshi says, grabbing one end of the wishbone. "One, two—"

"Do we pull on three or on go?"

"You are such a freak."

"On three."

"Fine. One, two, three—" The bone snaps in half. Kirihara holds up the larger end with a victory grin. "Make a wish," Hiyoshi says.

"I wish I could get that ring out of the sink," Kirihara says. "No, wait, that's not it. I wish you'll spend forever with me even though I fucked up and dropped your ring down the sink."

Hiyoshi picks up the box Kirihara had been holding earlier. "There's a place for two rings," Hiyoshi says. "Where's the other one?"

"I fucked up," Kirihara says again. "Don't move. It's probably on the floor."

Really. Why is this so surprising?


	6. Captain

**Captain  
**Rikkaidai**  
**rated K

Yukimura rules with ease. Being their captain comes as easily to him as breathing does. He takes them through their first high school tournament as vice-captain, then again as captain their second year. He enters his third and final year as captain of the Rikkaidai team with one goal in mind: leaving behind an adequate heir to lead Rikkaidai in his absence.

"You're the captain now, Akaya, you need to act like it," Yukimura says to Kirihara at graduation. Kirihara is bawling his eyes out and does not hear.

Kirihara rises up to the challenge. In junior high, he realized that there was far more to being a captain than giving good speeches like Yukimura, or being strong like Yukimura, or being pretty like Yukimura. He had to organize and plan and lead, and it suited him. When he became captain for a second time in high school, winning a forth straight National title, he had one goal: leaving behind a good team for Urayama.

"Oh, uh, yeah, here's the form for you to be captain and all. I think I got mustard on it, sorry," Kirihara says to Urayama during the last practice of the year. Urayama kindly points out that it isn't the right form.

Urayama is the underdog. In junior high, he was vice-captain under Kirihara and stayed vice-captain his third year, unable to find the backbone needed to run the famous Rikkaidai Club. Three years later, he's changed. He is not a natural leader and his vice-captain picks up a lot of the sack, but he is compassionate and kind in ways that Yukimura and Kirihara never were. When he aims for the fifth straight title, he has one goal: making Yukimura and Kirihara proud.

"I taught him that," Kirihara says to Yukimura in the stands as Urayama smashes the ball past his opponent during Finals. "And that. Oh, and that. Yes! That one too."

"And I taught you that, and that, and that," Yukimura points out with a kind smile.

"Did you teach him that?" Kirihara asks.

"No, did you?"

"No."

Yukimura and Kirihara exchange a pleased look. Urayama's already made them proud.


	7. Procedure

So this is connected to Punk and Piercings. Because I think I have a thing for punk!Niou.

**Procedure**  
Rikkaidai  
rated T

"Allow me to make sure that I'm understanding you correctly," Yagyuu says with a sigh, his fingers rubbing at his temples. "You want me to pierce you _where_?"

Niou hands him the several dozen pages of research he has done on the topic with a bored expression. Yagyuu stares at the pictures and sighs. He has done surgeries of all types and has seen more genitals than he would care to admit, but what Niou is suggesting is simply too much.

"And why can't you get this done in a parlor like you usually do?" Yagyuu says.

"My usual guy has only done two before and I'm not letting him near my dick if he doesn't know what he's doing," Niou says. "The procedure seems simple enough for you. You've done piercings before."

"I did your hips in university when I was drunk."

"And you did a good job." Niou lifts ups his shirt to show the perfectly straight, symmetrical knobs near his hip bones. "The guy who did my nipples the first time messed up so I had to let the holes close and get them redone."

"I am not piercing your penis."

"It's the urethra."

"I can see that," Yagyuu says, waving the papers. "There are other parlors better equipped to do this kind of thing. What about where you get your tattoos done? Don't they do piercings too?"

"Only face and ear."

Yagyuu frowns, glancing over the papers Niou gave him and skimming the procedure process. "This seems like this could go very wrong," Yagyuu says. "Inserting catheters and inserting metal are two very different things. I'm a doctor, not a—whatever these people are called."

"I've wanted to get this done for four years now. It's not some whim. You're the only person I trust to put anything near my junk besides my usual guy. Just think about it."

Yagyuu does think about it, then spends several hours looking up respectable piercing parlors throughout town to refer Niou to. There is a limit to how much he can tolerate when it comes to Niou. Apparently piercing his genitals is where Yagyuu draws the line.


	8. Compete

**Compete  
**Kirihara, Hiyoshi, Zaizen  
rated K

The three captain are always at each other's throats. When they weren't fighting on the tennis courts, they were making bets and trying to out do each other. Zaizen is able to hold his breath the longest, Hiyoshi is the best swimmer, and Kirihara can fit the most marshmallows in his mouth.

"Who can have the most wasabi in their mouth and not freak out?" Kirihara suggests.

"We did that last year. It was your win, Akaya," Zaizen says. "Who can put a paper cut in lemon juice the longest?"

"Wakashi," Kirihara says. "Who can do a handstand the longest?"

"Hikaru," Hiyoshi says. "Have we seen who can eat the most chicken nuggets in twenty minutes?"

"Me," Kirihara says. "Have we really run out of things?"

"I can't think of anything," Hiyoshi says.

"Me neither," Zaizen adds.

The three slump into silence, occasionally tossing out an idea only to find they've already done it. Kirihara can keep ice in his underwear the longest, Zaizen can do a handstand on a skateboard the longest without falling, and Hiyoshi can stand barefoot on hot pavement the longest. Kirihara and Hiyoshi tie on who could eat the most pizza, but Zaizen wins unicycling.

"How can we have run out of things?" Kirihara says. "What's the score?"

"I have fifty-six," Hiyoshi says.

"Fifty-six," Zaizen says.

"Me too," Kirihara says.

The three of them pause, then hold out their hands. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" They tie.


	9. Voyeur

Any sexual content will be taking place when the boys are in high school (16/17+) or older. This applies to all chapters. Also, if you have anything you'd like to see, leave me a short prompt through review. I accept anonymous if you don't want your name attached for whatever reason.

**Voyeur **  
Kirihara/Hiyoshi  
rated M

Mukahi and Shishido thought they were geniuses when they came up with the idea to hide in Hiyoshi's closet, wait for him to come back from his hike with his buddy from Rikkaidai, and scared the shit out of him for betraying Hyotei. Just because Atobe and Yukimura hold these tennis camps doesn't mean they have to like them.

They did not expect Hiyoshi to come back with the brat, and they certainly did not expect for the two of them to be joined at the mouth, hips, chest—fuck, they're joined everywhere.

"Lock the door," Hiyoshi says. "My senpai don't like to knock."

Shishido puts a hand to Mukahi's mouth so he doesn't gasp and alert the two of their presence. Shishido can hear Mukahi softly saying, "Holy shit, holy shit, _holy shit_," behind his hand.

Shishido and Mukahi watch through the slits in the closet as Kirihara locks the door, then walks to the edge of the bed, pulling Hiyoshi with him. The closet faces the edge of the bed so when Kirihara sits and tugs Hiyoshi into his lap, they can only see Kirihara's hands defiling their teammate.

Shirts are being removed and the two younger boys are breathing heavily as the bed creaks with every movement. Mukahi threatens to burst out of the closet when Kirihara's hands find their way to Hiyoshi's ass and stay there.

"Wakashi will kill us if we come out now," Shishido whispers, grabbing onto Mukahi and holding him back.

"You know I hate doing it," Hiyoshi says.

"Come on, please?" Kirihara coos. "I'll do it to you after. You're really good at it. I won't do it in your mouth, I promise."

Hiyoshi grumbles something the two can't hear, then sinks to his knees in front of the bed. Mukahi and Shishido watch as Hiyoshi drags Kirihara's pants to the ground, then leans in and very obviously begins to move his head. Shishido wants to believe that this is a misunderstanding, but there is no misunderstanding the noises the brat is making.

And there certainly isn't any misunderstanding what happens next.

Kirihara looks straight at the closet and smirks devilishly. "Just like that," the brat says, stroking Hiyoshi's hair and looking at Mukahi and Shishido. "You're so hot like this. I love it when you blow me. You always suck my dick so good, Wakashi."

Mukahi wiggles out of Shishido's grip and fumbles out of the closet and into the room. Hiyoshi stares and Kirihara makes no movement to cover his very obvious erection.

"What the hell, Senpai!" Hiyoshi shouts.

"First of all, hands off our Wakashi," Mukahi says. "Secondly, Hyotei and Rikkaidai are never going on a camping trip again. And lastly, it's well, not good—you always suck my dick so _well_. You fucking idiot."

Mukahi storms out of the room. Shishido walks out of the closet, tells Hiyoshi to use a condom, then leaves. Ohtori is not going to believe this.


End file.
